I received some information this morning in an email that was, well priceless. I’m not sure where it originated from but it is hilarious. The dialogue is between a family member of a deceased relative and Citibank concerning services charges.
Family Member: ‘I am calling to tell you she died in January.’
Citibank: ‘The account was never closed and the late fees & charges still apply.’
Family Member: ‘Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.’
Citibank: ‘Since it is 2 months past due, it’s already has been done’
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?’
Citibank: ‘Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!’
Family Member: ‘Do you think God will be mad at her?’
Citibank: ‘Excuse me?’
Family Member: ‘Did you just get what I was telling you, the part about her being dead?’
Citibank: ‘Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.’ (Duh!)
(Supervisor gets on the phone):
Family Member: ‘I’m calling to tell you, she died in January.’
Citibank: ‘The account was never closed, so the late fees and charges still apply.’ (This must be a phrase taught by the bank!)
Family Member: ‘Do you mean you want to collect from her estate?’
Citibank: (Stammering) ‘Are you her lawyer?’
Family Member: ‘No, I’m her great nephew.’
Citibank: ‘Could you fax us a certificate of death?’
Family Member: ‘Sure.’ (Fax number is given)
After Citibank receives the fax:Citibank: ‘Our system just isn’t setup for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.’
Family Member: ‘Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I really don’t think she will care.’
Citibank: ‘Well, the late fees & charges do still apply.’(What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member: ‘Would you like her new billing address?’
Citibank: ‘Yes, that will help.’
Family Member: ‘Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.’
Citibank: ‘Sir, that’s a cemetery!’
Family Member: ‘Yes I know – What do you do with dead people on your planet?
I bet somewhere in this big world of ours this conversation or one like it is taking place this very second. It brings new meaning to “it will follow you to the grave”, doesn’t it?
